Insults
by Etern
Summary: Because what would their relationship be if there wasn't any insults exchanged? D/Hr


Insults

By: Etern

Disclaimer: I hereby proclaim that I do not own any rights to the saga known as Harry Potter, and all the drama, magic, angst and general awesomeness related with it. Duh.

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It is a normal day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. At least, it is normal in any sense of the word magic can possibly be. Harry, Ron and Hermione—the Golden Trio, as they were called—are in the Great Hall as usual, like any other day, eating their breakfast before classes started.

The scene is a usual one. Ron is stuffing his face whilst finishing a last minute homework assignment, trying desperately not to spill his ink, and Harry is busy staring into space and brooding as he thinks of new Quidditch techniques—and of course about the whole Voldemort trying to kill him thing. Right, that's hard to forget, actually. The final member of the trio is busy with her nose lodged firmly in a thick book that has such small print inside that it really is a wonder that she can read it at all. But make no mistake—if anyone can read such a book, it is Hermione Granger.

The trio is caught in a peaceful silence when it is rudely interrupted by—shocker—the villainous, annoying prat known as one Draco Malfoy, the trio's sworn enemy. Well, at least their biggest enemy at Hogwarts; Voldemort kinda claims the biggest enemy spot.

But anyway, so there it was—the trio's breakfast and silence and overall happiness interrupted by the insidious Malfoy, who bears of course his usual smirking sneer as he glares down at each of them, his posse backing him up.

Typically, it is Ron—who really never thinks about what he says until after he says it. Way after—who speaks first. "What do you want Malfoy?"

"What a pleasant greeting, Weasley," Malfoy typically responds, his smirk only growing if that were really possible. Which at this point it isn't. "My, what impeccable manners you display. Not that I'm surprised—just look at your family."

"Leave my family out of this!" Ron glares, "Damn you, you always just have to bring—"

"Ron, do shut up." It is Hermione, who at the appearance of Malfoy had pried herself out of her book, who spoke now. She ignores Ron as he turns his glare to her and instead looks coolly into Malfoy's smirking face. "How can we help you Malfoy?"

Malfoy turns to her. "Well you can't help me at all Mudblood. You're far too useless."

Harry finally breaks out of his moping to shoot daggers at the Slytherin. "Don't call her that!"

"Oh yeah? And why can't I? It's just what she is. A sniveling, know-it-all, perfect, lovely little bookworm!"

Wait. Is there a compliment hidden in that insult? Hermione blinks, wondering if anyone else noticed, even Malfoy himself. They all just keep on glaring at each other. Ok, apparently not.

"Alright I get it, sheesh! You don't like me," Hermione sighs, "Not that I even care. At all. But did you just come over here to insult me and in the process piss Ron and Harry off?"

Malfoy looks thoughtful for a second before nodding once, before he smirks again at them. "So I guess you really are smart," he sneers at her, "Which is surprising you—"

"If you say Mudblood I'm going to—" Ron starts but is interrupted by Hermione, who is still talking to Malfoy. Really, it's like their in their own little conversation.

"I know what you're going to say. Mudblood right? Gee, how original. Really. Do you have any other insults for me Malfoy?"

Malfoy scowls at her, crossing his arms. "Yes. There's know-it-all—"

"You already said that one."

"…bookworm—"

"Said that too."

"Teacher's pet—"

"That's practically the same as every other insult you've said to me! Really, do you ever have any new material?"

Malfoy stares at her, looking slightly incredulous. "Do you _want _me to come up with more material?"

When Hermione just rolls her eyes and sighs, Malfoy lets himself smirk again. "Why Granger, I didn't realize that you were so masochistic!"

She throws him a half hearted glare, standing up from the table with her book and ignoring Ron and Harry, who are both asking her where she's going. "Whatever, Malfoy. I'm going to the library to return a book," she finally answers Harry and Ron, before sweeping past Malfoy without another look. She is not surprised that he follows her.

"How about if I call you library rat? You go there enough," he calls from behind her, and she does not look back as she answers with a smooth, "Do whatever the hell you want Malfoy."

"That's not very encouraging Granger," he calls back, and is glad that she has her back to him so that she does not see his pout. "I thought you wanted me to come up with insults for you, so help me!"

Hermione is glad that he is behind her so that he does not see her smile. "Malfoy that would just be stupid. Why would I ever want to insult myself? Besides, this is helping you put your creativity to use."

"Yes, but I'm putting it to use on something—or actually someone—use_less_!" There is less venom to his voice now, and he hopes that she does not notice. She does.

"You know Malfoy, I do believe that you don't believe your own insults anymore."

"What?! Of course I do!" he sneers, although it sounds as though it is lacking its normal conviction. "It is just that I grow tired of this tomfoolery, Granger."

She raises an eyebrow and tries her hardest not to smile. "Uh-huh, of course you go tired of it. You grow so tired of it that you purposely come to our table and start something. Really Malfoy, think before you speak."

She is rewarded with a huff from behind her, although it sounds as though he is covering up a snort. "I'm not you Granger; I don't have to think all the time just to speak. Besides, I came over here because you were too peaceful. There's nothing like a little anger to make things interesting."

"Nothing like a little insults, you mean," she corrects him with a slight smile. "Glad to know that I'm on your mind, Malfoy."

He pulls away some and frowns at her. "You most certainly aren't. And whenever you are believe me, it's not pleasant."

"Same here, Malfoy," she responds, sighing lightly, "Now are you quite done?"

They have arrived at the library doors, and she turns to look at him in time to see him stop and stand before her. She had never really noticed how tall he was until then, when she has to tilt her head back to look up at him with a small smirk that rivals his own on her face.

He raises a pale brow at her and crosses his arms, looking remarkably like a petulant child as he all but pouts at her.

"I don't know," he answers coolly, "are we?"

She shakes her head slightly, letting a small giggle escape her lips.

"With you, we never are. Especially since you've barely been letting me out of your sights. Why is that?"

She watches him cast a quick look around the hallways before leaning down to press a quick kiss to her cheek, muttering against her skin, "You're just too fun to insult, love. I can't help myself anymore."

When he pulls back smiling she pouts a little, her eyes bright. "So that's all this relationship is Draco? Kissing and insults?"

He cocks his head at her, his eyes growing serious as he inconspicuously grabs her warm hand in his. "Would you have it any other way?"

She pauses and looks thoughtfully up at him for a moment. Did she want Draco to stop insulting her? Sometimes it would be nice, she'd admit, but most of the time…

She smiles up at him, and the hand in hers tightens gently. "No," she replies, leaning up to whisper gently against his lips, "Because without the insults, what would we have?"

Without the insults, Draco Malfoy wouldn't be Draco Malfoy, the boy who, despite said insults, she had fallen desperately in love with.

She pulls away wearing a light scowl. "And Draco Malfoy, I'm insulted that you would even ask that!

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Wrote this awhile ago, so sorry if it's crap. Witty banter's not my forte. I prefer angst which is...sad, ha. Review anyway?


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